Is it really shocking though?

I know I said my next post would be about HOW we became homeless. But it's not. Sometime there are just other things going on. Other things on your heart. So it's hard to get your focus there where it needs to be.
  I keep having this debate in myself. Should I go on? Should I continue to do this. It's easy for me to want to fall into the social media trap of "everything is great over here!" I read a post the other day that said "I can assure you ,the grass is always greener on Social Media.." That sure stuck with me. Because it's so true!! Or I just wonder "what's the point anyway?" I think MAYBE one person read my last blog post...if that.  Am I the only one that feels that way? Unseen? Unheard? Unimportant? I suspect not. But there's so much stigma behind these feelings, that people just don't reach out. Have you ever voiced this type of thing to have people tell you that you are crazy? Or maybe they tell you how great your life is? Or if you talk about feelings of anxiety, or depression they just tell you not to be depressed. Or don't be anxious.
  Its so much easier said than done...
If you have ever dealt with deep depression, you know it's not that easy. Its sometimes a choice...but not always. Not when it's really bad. Sometimes, in the middle of your happiness your depression comes out of nowhere. Like a attack from behind when you least expect it. You wonder "why am I so sad?"  You can't figure out how to stop those feelings. How do you CHOOSE to be happy like everyone keeps telling you.
  You try to reach out to those close to you. Try to be honest. You tell them how you are feeling. If you are anything like me you will hear things like "don't be sad, don't be depressed" "this is a choice you make. To be happy or not" "get some exercise" " your faith is not strong enough" "read your bible more" "just stop thinking that way" While well intentioned (in most cases) it doesn't feel helpful. All that those voices in your head serve to do is make you feel MORE like a failure. And you do feel like a failure. A failure because you can't just stay happy. Because you feel like you are failing your kids. Failing your spouse.
  For me personally, I want everyone to leave me, and stay away. I feel like I'm bad for everyone. I'll bring them down. They'll have to deal with me. I feel unloved. I want all of this, but at the same time I desperately want everyone to stay and tell me they love me anyway.
  I don't need to be told these are deep seeded issues that I need to deal with. I know that. I am navigating that as best as I can. WITH GOD. My depression doesn't mean I don't have God. It just means maybe there's more work to be done in me than in you. And that's between me and God. I just need to be told that I'm cared for and loved. And I may forget that faster than other people do...but those issues..
  Maybe you don't understand any of this at all. And that's ok. In fact that's great!!! Don't be afraid to say that. Reach out to those around you. Because you never know where they are in life. I hear so many people say things about those who commit suicide. They call them selfish. They say they never suspected. They say people with depression hide it so well. Maybe that is so... with some people. But I know many people, myself included, who have been on the edge. Who have reached out, only to have no one listen.
  It's easy to get lost in your life. To get too busy. It's easy to write people off. Call them "snowflakes" say they are whining. Tell people to get over themselves and stop complaining. But it's just as easy, if not easier, to let people know you care for them.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" John 13:34